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Every Product Billy Mays Ever Pitched

Billy Mays, America’s favorite infomercial star, died three years ago today. He began his career selling the WashMatik, a car-washing brush that siphoned water through the bristles without electricity. He moved from that to the Ultimate Chopper, and some of his other products not featured here include The Ding King (dent and ding repair kit), Turbo Tiger (a hand-held minivac), Grip Wrench (an adjustable strap wrench), Green Now (fertilizer), and something called the EZ Crunch Bowl, which promised to be “A new way to eat breakfast cereal.” Here are the rest of the products he pitched over the next 12 years, in no particular order:

Orange Glo

This was Billy’s break-out pitch. He sold 6,000 units in 11 minutes (at $18 each) on the Home Shopping Network. He became HSN’s go-to sales guy immediately afterward.

Awesome Auger

Big City Slider Station

The best line of his entire canon, surely: “No more squishin’ and squashin’, flippin’ and floppin’!”

DualSaw

“Big strong nothing,” he says. Poor Matt.

ESPN360

For when you want to watch sports, “but can’t find a TV.” Even his family likes it, so I guess video streaming is pretty great.

Flies Away

Lotta rhyming-ay in this one-ay.

Gopher

It reaches so you don’t have to.

Grater Plater

You can grate asiago in it, ok. It’s no ordinary plate.

Handy Switch

Hercules Hook

Now that’s super-strong.

iCan Health Insurance

Not limited to household tools and gadgets, Mays took on the job of selling access to affordable health insurance for everyone.

Impact Gel

Why am I smashing my hand with this hammer?!

The iTie

It’s the only necktie that features a concealed pocket.

Jupiter Jack

The most convenient hands-free device for any cellphone, GUARANTEED.

Kaboom!

Ring around the toilet? You need Kaboom!

Mighty Mendit

Warning: The quality of this video will offend you. If you can find a better one, leave a link in the comments

Mighty Putty, Mighty Putty Steel, and Mighty Putty Wood

All three in one Suoer Pack, in case you need to fix that drawer pull, tow a boat and lift a school bus.

OxiClean

Powered by the air you breathe, activated by the water you and I drink. Classic.

Quick Chop

Vince and his silly Slap Chop can’t compete.

Samurai Shark

Tungsten carbide sharpening blades, people.

Simoniz Fix-It

Repairs scratches, dings and knicks ON CONTACT. Apply, and let dry. That’s it!

Tool Band-it

When two hands just aren’t enough, reach for the Tool Band-It. A job that takes two, can now be done by one! THAT’S AMAZING.

Vidalia Slice Wizard

7 different kitchen tools right in one machine. Even the food-processor inept can operate it. Try doing all that with a knife!

What-Odor?® Odor Eliminator

Sour milk. Moldy, rotten cheese. Cat urine!

Zorbeez

The most absorbent material he’d ever used. Over 27 times more absorbent than cotton! You can even use them to dry your dog, guys.

Mighty Tape

Mays’ last commercial spot. By this time, he’d been selling everything from adjustable wrenches to deodorizer to… well, Mighty Tape.

What’s your favorite Mays-approved product? I like Kaboom!, but I do remember that I broke my grandma’s Gopher trying to lift a birdbath. (It seemed like a good idea at the time.)

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